A BROWNIE FRIDAY

I woke up in my house but I know I didn't sleep here.

I was soaked, head to toe. Not sure, if it's water or sweat.

I opened my eyes, and suddenly everyone started screaming, "He's alive !!".

Then it was accompanied with loud cheering and applause.

The cheering came to a halt, when a figure walked towards me and hit me.

Then I blacked out again.

There's a particular Friday I won't forget in a hurry and I'm here with my ordeal once again.

A Friday leads to the weekend,so most dumb shit are usually done on those days.

I'm pretty sure the reason behind why most of us exist are based on Freaky Fridays.

If you know what I mean.

Y'all heard of Brownies?

It's a nice cake covered in chocolate.

It's super delicious and intriguing to our taste buds.

It slaps hard though.

I've been longing for a taste, and my wish got granted.

A Friday as usual.

The sun's out, birds chirping.

People going around their normal business.

I took my bath and got my drip on while I headed to school.

My plan was to grab a meal before I began the hectic day of lectures.

If I would even attend the lectures.

But unknown forces had greater plans for me.

I got into school and headed to the cafeteria directly.

The hunger I felt that moment was extreme.

I met my group of friends and we began to catch cruise as usual.

Until one lady came to our table.

She was a burst of beauty. The perfect hair and a body as though God sculptured her using French curves.

I was mesmerized as she walked towards me. Then she told me I should patronize her.

The last time she approached me, I gave excuses because I didn't have money.

So if I should've given another excuse for the second time, it would be obvious I'm broke.

The money I had on me was budgeted for my departmental dues.

But I certainly can't let this damsel believe I'm broke.

A Chief and more can't be caught unfresh.

So I asked what she was selling and she said Brownies.

I replied, "Wow, and how's the taste?"

She then said, "It's the best, I doubt you would even survive one".

A whole me?

Survive one?

A determined glutton?

At this point, I didn't know what she meant by survival, but my main aim was to impress her and my friends there.

So I told her I'll be taking four. 

She asked, "Four?, That's much, Are you sure?"

Now I got her impressed, I moved my eyebrows seductively and I replied.

"Nothing's huge for me, dear".

She brought her bag down and began to bring out the Brownies while I prepared to pay.

As she was bringing it. My guy, Dave who was seated there was just nodding his head.

It seemed he was scared or something.

But I didn't pay attention to him.

I opened the first bag and a sensation of chocolate hit me.

The Aurora was mesmerizing. 

And I couldn't wait to grab a bite at this mysterious brownie.

It was even hot despite it was in her bag.

I cleared one at the speed of light and I longed for more.

Dave finally walked up to me and told me that I shouldn't take more and that the brownies weren't normal.

Normal as in?

He told me Brownies always had something inside of them but I gave a deaf ear.

That the last one he took, his last memories was him sleeping in school and awakening in lectures the next morning.

But that's not my concern.

So after I took one, I shared the rest with my friends and it was satisfying.

But the adventure was just warming up.

The Brownies contained Edibles. A bit of coke and a touch of weed.

So after one hour, I began to perceive life in a different perspective.

Seeing the world in a different dimension.

Witness Everything Exceptionally Different.

That's the definition of weed.

I remembered Dave's advice but it was late.

My friends didn't show signs yet because they didn't take much quantity.

I went for lectures and suddenly everything felt different.

The lecturer was speaking but I couldn't hear his voice.

The class was in silence but I could hear voices in my head.

Then my lecturer began to shrink to the size of a boy and he was playing table tennis.

He was Swift and he played against himself.

Everyone was clapping because of his skills, so I joined to clap too.

The clapping stopped but I couldn't stop my hands from clapping.

Suddenly, I heard a faint voice saying, "Call that young man".

All of a sudden, I returned to reality.

There was no table tennis, someone answered a question and people clapped.

But I saw something else.

At this junction, I knew i was getting mentally unstable.

This was stage 1.

I began to feel dizzy.

When I totally lost control, I decided to head home before I ment completely.

But I felt a sharp shock in my head.

Like a knot had been loosened. I couldn't walk straight.

It seemed potholes opened all over the ground and I felt unusual happiness.

I plugged my headphones and my songs felt different.

I could hear the artist breathe oxygen while singing, the beats fading.

Lyrics went front and backwards at different intervals.

At some point, I felt I was the artist and I sang loudly.

I had to enter a bus and head home as quick as possible.

Then I saw myself in the skies, and the cars that passed the roads seemed like gigantic birds.

I had to dodge this metallic birds to reach my destination.

Then at the last stage, the entire world was in slow motion.

Then I climbed one of the birds and the bird was unstable.

But I had to ride this bird.

Traffic lights appeared in the skies and I began to wonder if we had traffic in heaven.

Then I had to ask someone that was inside a bird to tell me why they were traffic lights in the abode of heaven.

Then my bird began to rotate and I fell off. But I held strongly to one of the feathers.

But I was holding the door of the bus.

At this point, the bird used it's beak and returned me to it's back.

And the clouds were clearing. But it was people dragging me back to the bus.

They didn't even know my direction or where I was headed.

I was mentally unstable Pro Max now.

Suddenly, I blacked out and had no memories till I woke up at home.

Laying on my balcony. Drenched in sweat with no memories of how I got here.

My heart stopped beating so they assumed I was dead.

People were crying and laying tributes on how I was a good child and I loved going to church.

I even heard a comment about how I fantasized about married women.

I woke, lo and behold.

My Dad was there with his belt to beat the remaining highness out of my bloodstream.

This brings us to the start.

I lost consciousness again.

And when I woke I was at the hospital, early in the morning.

I was trending on Facebook and was the talk of the Town.

Oh Jesus, a boy that nearly fell of the bus.

Because of A BROWNIE FRIDAY.

As for my friends, their tales is for another day.

One went to his church and offered to donate one million Naira.

Another one told his landlord that he will demolish his house and rebuild it in three days.

I believed the Landlord must have used violent methods to remind him that he was a tenant.

If you don't believe me,

You should order your brownies from that fine girl, click this link.

You need this experience too.

Maybe you could change the world in your own ways.

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